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What Faith Can Do

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As I begin a new story, where I start is always by recognizing just how thankful I am to have witnessed so many amazing events. And I am also grateful that the people involved allowed me to be a part of their lives. This particular story is for a friend who is currently in the midst of a battle with cancer. The story itself occurred many years ago but I write it now so that she might remember – what faith can do.

When I think of Tammy, I’d say the story started with a rainbow. Technically that’s not correct, but I would guess that if I asked our friends who were with us that year, they would agree. The first thing they would recall about Tammy was her excitement over learning  the story of the first rainbow and what it meant. Perhaps that rainbow represented a beautiful sign of hope in an otherwise very difficult year.

The events of that “difficult year” were brought to light in the context of a small group of women who would meet together every week. A few days before, I typically spoke with everyone by phone. In the course of the phone calls, I had an opportunity to catch a glimpse of what was happening in the lives of each of my friends. For Tammy, there was much more going on than learning about a rainbow. Little by little, Tammy began sharing bits and pieces of a home life that was gravely troubled.

Family for Tammy consisted of her husband Howie, her five-year-old son, Howard, and her little girl, Mykela, who was two. Any time little ones are part of the mix there is always stress. But in this case, there was significantly more stress then just parenting. Tammy talked about being afraid. Men were showing up at her door looking for Howie. And they weren’t pleasant or happy. In fact, they were intimidating and scary, so much so that Tammy was fearful for both her and her children’s safety.

Howie was a DJ at a local radio station in town and as you can imagine, was quite personable. Unfortunately, he’d become pretty heavily involved with both alcohol and drugs. That came with a myriad of other very poor choices. Not only was Howie and Tammy’s marriage falling apart, but Howie’s life was also on the line.

In the middle of the mess, Howie had one thing going for him he didn’t realize. Tammy was praying for him. She had decided to start following Jesus just shortly before we began meeting that year. Her decision came at the end of a Passion Play – so there’s a boost for all of you who wonder if a Passion Play ever changes anyone’s life! It does, and Tammy is living proof.

To help you know Tammy a little better, she is a person who is gentle and quiet, but not shy. As is so often the case, still waters run deep. When Tammy says she will do something, I have confidence that she will. She is steadfast in her convictions; loyal and kind. She is, to me, the example of meekness; my favorite definition of meekness being “power under control.”

Through the course of the year, my sweet friend would give me prayer requests to share with the group. She never elected to divulge her home situation to the others, so these prayer requests never went into any great detail; they were vague but direct. I still have them after all these years. Since the ones pertaining to Howie’s situation are important for the story, I will share them with you.  They were as follows …….

  • Direction and strength for Howie
  • Howie to see and hear God clearly
  • For God to keep Howie safe and work out His plan for the two of them
  • God’s continued will to be done in Howie’s life
  • God’s protection for her and her family
  • For God to bring a great testimony from her husband’s trials and that his story would be a blessing to someone else

One week as my friend and I were talking on the phone, she began relaying a few of the disturbing events taking place. As she finished the last statement, her voice drifted off and she paused. What followed next stunned me. She said the most unexpected thing. I was braced for one of the usual statements you hear when someone’s life is an absolute wreck; something like, “I can’t believe this is happening to me,” or “I don’t deserve this,” or “I can’t take this anymore!”  But instead she calmly said, with a certain air of boldness, “I know God is going to do something.”

The amazing thing about this statement is the fact that she said it when circumstances were at their very worst. The days were dark and a happy ending seemed pretty far away. She had nothing to substantiate that belief except faith.

Faith isn’t just some feel good emotion that says everything is going to work out fine.  It is based on reality.  The reality lies in the object we place our faith in.  We place faith in things everyday.  If we place an order somewhere for lunch, we trust they are going to prepare it and as a result we drive to pick it up believing it will be ready.  We have faith in the restaurant. We do things like this all the time. In Tammy’s case, her faith was placed in the character of her God. She knew He was faithful, kind, compassionate and good, and she put her trust in that reality.

“I know God is going to do something!” And “something” He did. A few months later, Howie came to Tammy saying he needed and wanted help. It was difficult to find a rehab center that their insurance would cover, but with time and perseverance a place was located in Florida. This was a commitment for both of them. Howie would have to travel to Florida and would be gone from home and work. Tammy would run things on the home front and take care of Howard and Mykela.

By the time Howie left for rehab, it was May and our group was ending. For our last meeting, we planned to have our final study and then head to our friend Misty’s house to eat lunch afterwards. Tammy was in charge of bringing some of the food. That afternoon we all arrived at Misty’s house – all but Tammy.

So we waited – and waited – and waited. Finally, Tammy walked in the door. It was obvious that “something” had happened. The rehab center had just called and told her that Howie was unconscious on the floor and they were trying to resuscitate him. His blood pressure had been elevated and erratic as he withdrew from the drugs. Howie had suffered a heart attack. For the first time, the group understood what was going on behind all the prayer requests Tammy had made throughout the year.

Our little group gathered up in a circle around the island in the kitchen and began praying for Howie. I have no idea what anyone said but I have no doubt that Jesus was right there with us and that our Father heard every word. And I believe what was shining in the darkness of that moment was the faith of a young woman who believed her God was going to do something, something amazingly good. She never lost confidence that He was able to take the worst of circumstances and make something beautiful out of them.

And now for the rest of the story. Howie not only survived, but in fact, began to really live. His testimony comes from the floor of the rehab unit, where he chose to place his faith in Jesus. From an article written in the Joplin Globe by Rich Brown, come Howie’s own words, “While the paramedics worked on me, I just knew the next breath I took was going to be either in heaven or hell,” he said. “Tears rolled out of my eyes and at that point I said ‘Jesus, please save me,’ and he did.”

From that point forward, Howie has been a different man. He came home clean in more ways than one. Howie began a website for addicts to meet Jesus using his testimony. He began witnessing and sharing scripture at a local church who reached out to addicts. Then he established four substance-abuse discipleship houses; two for men and two for women. He also used his gifts as a communicator by DJing a Christian music station that he helped spearhead.  Over time, Howie began Impact Church, where those looking for recovery are always welcome.

As a result of Howie’s earlier involvement with drugs, he still faced legal charges when he returned home from rehab. Our actions always have consequences.  But because of his complete turnaround, the judge chose probation rather than prison. That’s a great ending. But this story really isn’t about Howie.

This story is about Tammy. It’s about the person behind the scenes who paved the way for the impossible to happen. And ultimately, it’s about the object of her faith who brought it about. The prayer requests I mentioned earlier were fully answered. Perhaps not in the timing or way Tammy initially wanted, but in the end, they were answered in a far greater way then she could have hoped or imagined. Faith is the vehicle that carries us to that end. That’s what faith can do.

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Faith means being sure of the things we hope for and knowing that something is real even if we do not see it.   Hebrews 11:1 NCV

God can do anything, you know – far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!  Ephesians 3:20 Msg

For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. James 1:3,5-6 NLT

“Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20-21 NIV

Whenever two or three of you come together in my name, I am there with you.    Matthew 18:20 CEV

The rainbow that I have put in the sky will be my sign to you and to every living creature on earth. It will remind you that I will keep this promise forever. When I send clouds over that earth, and a rainbow appears in the sky, I will remember my promise to you and to all other living creatures. Never again will I let floodwaters destroy all life. The rainbow will be the sign of that solemn promise. Genesis 9 12-15,17 CEV

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“What Faith Can Do” pictures –

Here’s a few of the Pinterest Pins for the story.

To see all the other Pinterest Pins for “What Faith Can Do” click here.

 

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“I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new”   Kutless

That’s What Faith Can Do

For other faith building stories try “The Promise of a Dance” or “Endings and Beginnings”.

If you enjoyed this story, please share it! Or if you would like to contact me, I’d love to hear from you at [email protected].

Three friends at local diner

Messy In The Middle

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I’ve waited to do this story on Mike for quite some time. Why have I been waiting? Because I love happy endings. The nice tidy ones where everything falls into place and the underdog wins. The kind where what seems to be impossible happens and everybody walks away thinking the world is a wonderful place. So I’ve been waiting for the happy ending to come along for Mike. The problem is, it hasn’t yet. And it’s awfully messy in the middle.

My first encounter with Mike was about ten years ago. Standing in the kitchen area of a local homeless shelter, I began a conversation with a man with bright blue eyes and sandy brown hair. He told me, among other things, that his name was Michael. As the conversation came to an end, he asked, “Can I use your phone?” Taking my phone from my jacket, I gave it to the man and then watched him round the corner and head outside. After about ten minutes, I began seriously doubting that I would see my phone again. Looking back now, saying “yes” probably wasn’t the wisest thing. But in the end, there came Mike back in the door of the shelter with phone in hand. I gave him my phone number when I left that day and thus began the beautiful friendship of two very different people.

A month or two later, while watching my son’s baseball game, I received a call from Mike. His voice was stressed and erratic and I knew instantly something was terribly wrong. Mike unraveled a story about someone trying to kill him and that there was no safe place to go. In the messy chaos of the moment, one of his conclusions was that he should kill himself to avoid being caught. The odd contrast of our situations vividly stands out as I remember that moment – me at a sunny baseball park enjoying a high school game and Mike in some dark drug area of town hiding alone. The experience could be summed up as two totally separate worlds colliding on a cool spring day.

Not long after, Mike asked me to drive him to a court hearing in a town 40 minutes away. I’m not sure why I decided to take on that task, but I did. My friend Patti, who was no stranger to risky encounters, immediately chimed in that she would go as well. Later she told me she merely went for my protection. (And yes, I’m thankful to have friends who have my back when I am naive!)

The road trip reminded me a bit of a scene from Thelma and Louise. Honestly, we had a “rip roaring” good time. Remembering the trip, I would judge that was probably one of the things that cemented our friendship. That and the jail visit where Mike came to the glass wearing an orange and white striped outfit three times too big. Despite the messy circumstances, we couldn’t stop laughing. I featured a snapshot of Mike, Patti and me at a roadside diner on our trip but unfortunately don’t have one of Mike in the jail jumpsuit. On second thought, that’s probably fortunate for Mike.

The last ten years have flown by and I’ve not infrequently received calls from Mike similar to his first. Typically, I tell him that no one is trying to kill him. He says they are. It’s possible he’s right. After all, Mike’s been involved on both sides of the drug scene for quite a few years and has enemies. And it’s true that the people he claims are after him actually have murdered some people. Who’s to say?

At the same time, I also realize he has schizophrenia, so it’s messy and complicated. In the end, seeing truth with clarity is a pretty difficult thing for all of us. Sometimes a friend questioning why we see our situations as we do makes us examine things through a different lens and ultimately brings some clarity. A little at a time, Mike and I are both working on seeing things a little clearer.

The past has a way of coloring how we see the future. It’s true for Mike, and for all of us. His early years were filled with terrible stories caused by the actions of an abusive mom and step-dad. Trying to escape home, Mike spent quite a few days in and out of Juvie Hall. I know without a doubt, had some of his early experiences happened to me, I would not have made it through. He did. As a result, Mike is resourceful, tough and brave. In the years after that, he had six felonies, cycled in and out of jail and served some time in prison. Despite a pretty difficult road, Mike managed to keep his sense of humor and is still one of the funniest people I know.

Up until now in the story, your picture of Mike is likely jaded by my disclosure of him being a felon, an addict, and a schizophrenic. If those are the only facts you knew about my friend, you would miss the most extraordinary parts. He is able to acknowledge his faults and accept responsibility for his mistakes. In that aspect, I wish we were all a little more like Mike. He is humble and grateful; thoughtful and kind.

And Mike is a great listener. In one of the most difficult periods of my life, I could call Mike and cry on the phone. There was never any judgement, no inkling that he thought my problems were trivial to his (even though they were). There was only the sympathetic ear of a great friend who was willing to hangout with me in a really dark, messy place. That’s what a true friend does. Isn’t it surprising, some of the most unlikely people and most difficult situations, lead to your most precious memories? There is no doubt in my mind, if I needed something, Mike would move heaven and earth to help me. And I would do the same for him.

One year for his birthday, Mike came over for dinner. In our conversation a few weeks later, he said something that will always stay with me. “Growing up I saw families like yours on T.V. My family wasn’t like that and none of my friends had families like that. I didn’t think they really existed. I thought they were just made up until I saw yours.” At the time Mike spoke those words, I remember being heartbroken over the number of people whose homes are filled with anger, violence and isolation. Perhaps Mike’s words are why I remain committed in reaching out to people who feel like they don’t belong. The conversation came to an end that day with Mike’s final words, which I will always treasure, “Thanks for inviting me to be part of your family.”

I too am thankful, thankful our worlds collided and I said yes to that road trip all those years ago. We’ve been on a road trip ever since. Sometimes there’s been laughter and sometimes there’s been heated discussions. The journey has been filled with sweet highs and heartbreaking lows. Most of the time, Mike is clean – but sometimes he’s not. Most of the time, he has a job – but he can lose it easily. And most of the time, he can deal with the schizophrenia – but sometimes he can’t. We just happen to still be in the messy middle right now.

One thing I know for sure – he is not the same man I met ten years ago. Michael has changed. Somewhere along the journey, he learned how to trust. Now, he actively tries to make the right decisions and do the right thing, even if he isn’t always successful in it. But who is? He learned how to love and how to be a good friend. Maybe the joy really is in the journey, because I am not the same woman either. I’m different, because he became my friend. Mike taught me that being a good friend doesn’t mean you fix someone else’s problems for them, you just love them in the messy middle.

What progress looks like

So, perhaps this story is really for all of us who are still in the messy middle, or know someone who is. It’s good to realize we aren’t the only ones. Most of all, this is a story about celebrating progress even before there’s a nice happy ending. For Mike, I really believe there will be a happy ending. I’m sure of it. We just haven’t arrived there yet. So here’s to a new year! Let’s all celebrate the progress we have already made. And soon, may we all find ourselves in happy endings.

 

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9 NIV

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. Romans 5:3-5 NLT

That’s why we live with such good cheer. You won’t see us drooping our heads or dragging our feet! Cramped conditions here don’t get us down. They only remind us of the spacious living conditions ahead. It’s what we trust in but don’t yet see that keeps us going. Do you suppose a few ruts in the road or rocks in the path are going to stop us? When the time comes, we’ll be plenty ready to exchange exile for homecoming. 2 Cor 5:6 Msg

Know that I’m on your side, right alongside you. You’re not in this alone. Colossians 2:1 Msg

 

Some of my favorite pictures of Mike.

For another awesome story about growing and celebrating progress, read “Who You Are.”

Here’s a few of the Pinterest Pins from Messy In The Middle. To see them better, just click on them.

To check out all the other Pinterest Pins for the story, Click here.

Mike, this one’s for you. Love, martha    “Forever On Your Side.” NEEDTOBREATHE

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"And after all that we've been through. And after all we left in pieces.
I still believe the best is yet to come."    RED
Best Is Yet To Come by RED

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When I asked Mike what song he would like on his story, “Best Friend” by Yelawolf was his suggestion. Here’s a heads up warning on the language in the song. But then again, it just highlights how very different two good friends can be.


If you would like to contact me, you can email me at [email protected]. Or to leave a message for Mike, just post it in the comments. 

 

Candy and her mother at graduation

The Hardest Thing

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Borrowing a phrase from a previous story, “It’s never too late,”  I write this wishing the timing of this story would have been different – but unfortunately no one can change the course of events.  Explaining that statement is something that will come later, but for now let me introduce you to the person this story is about.  Her name is Candy and this is a story about overcoming the hardest things.  If there is anyone out there who needs to hear that it’s possible to change your life, this is the person who has shown it can be done.

Candy was in her early thirties when she and I first met.  My phone had rung and there she was at the other end.  Candy was serious about escaping the nightmare that alcohol and drugs had caused in her life and was interested in coming to a study I was teaching.  Over the next nine years, Candy and I came to know each other well.

The word that comes to mind when I think of Candy is strong.  This is not just because she is physically bigger and stronger than I, but because she is a strong personality in almost every way.  When she walks in the room, just her presence demands attention.  This woman is straight forward and blunt.  If she says something, she backs it up.

I know a phone conversation with Candy will be brief, to the point, and purposeful.  There is no just chit-chatting with Candy.  In fact, if I were in a dark alley, there would be no other person that I would rather have by my side.  She is fiercely loyal and very protective.  Although all these characteristics are quite powerful, nothing is more impressive to me than her courage.  Without hesitation or fear, Candy faces things head-on with no holds barred.  Having watched her live life has made me want to be brave.

When I told Candy I was going to write a story about her, I said that there was one question that had kept coming to mind.  The question I needed for her to answer that day was this: “What is the hardest thing you have ever done?”  There was no pause or hesitation over her answer.  It was quick and short.  But before I tell you the answer, I want you to know the incredibly difficult things Candy has overcome in her life.  Perhaps you may be able to identify with something from her life and be encouraged with the hope that it is possible to not just survive through adversity but to triumph over it.

My friend grew up in a home that was filled with abuse.  As we all know, abuse destroys.  It destroys relationships, individuals and circumstances.  Candy grew up knowing the full extent of the destruction of abuse.  A man who assumed a father figure role in her family was sentenced to prison for 68 years for the abuse he inflicted on her.  She carried that pain with her every day.

Everyone tries to bury pain in different ways, but in the end it still lies there covered up until we bring it to the surface and face it.  Every few years the parole board had a meeting to discuss releasing the man who had abused her.  Each time this occurred, the parole board asked Candy to give her opinion of an early release.  Over the last nine years, I have watched my friend as she has had to bring the memories back to the surface and sift through them as she prepared a response to the parole board.  Her abuser had previously threatened that, if ever released, he would kill her for testifying against him.

The first time I remember Candy going through this, it was heart wrenching.  When we were in private, she quietly told me she had decided to talk with her mother.  This was not a statement made lightly or easily.  The relationship with her mother had been broken and the two had not spoken in quite some time.  Yet Candy was changing and she felt the need to address things from her past and try to resolve them.  She had come to believe that sometimes relationships could be mended and she wanted to try.

And try she did.  After reaching out to her mother, what Candy found was a woman who loved her and very much wanted to be part of her life.  Over the last few years, the two have become incredibly close and Candy has come to rely on her mother deeply.  They are living proof that relationships can be reconciled and restored.  Forgiveness is a beautiful thing.  As for the man who abused Candy, he is being released any time now.  Candy reconciled herself to that fact when the news was released.  She put things in place to protect herself from his threats but she will no longer live in fear of the one who wrecked her childhood.  After years of reliving the past, she was ready and able to move on.  Abuse does not have to have the last word.

As a teenager and young adult, Candy chose alcohol and violence as a means of escaping the pain and shame of abuse.  By the time I met her, Candy had been in and out of jail numerous times as well as spending a period of time in prison.  She later told me it was in prison that she finally decided to make a change.  Candy said sometimes to hit the bottom it takes going to prison – at least for her that was the case.  When she was released, she began navigating life without alcohol. The rooms of AA (Alcohols Anonymous) provided the help, stability, and encouragement she needed. One day at a time she moved forward.  That’s because alcoholism doesn’t have to have the last word.

One of the things I noticed about Candy when I first met her, was that she liked to learn.  Although Candy had never graduated from high school, she was very bright and definitely determined.  During the course of our first year together, several of the women in our group studied hard and passed their GED exams.  And several decided to go back to school.  Candy was one of those people.

After receiving her GED, she enrolled at Vatterot College and launched full scale into college.  Never doing anything half-way, she made straight A’s and soon graduated with an associates degree in business.  She immediately enrolled at Missouri Southern State University, and later Kansas City University of Medicine and BioSciences, taking numerous courses over the last four years. All the while, Candy was still working, managing a family and involved in a host of other things. Oh, and by the way, still rocking a 4.0 all the way.

She had hoped to graduate with a doctorate degree in pharmacy last May, but Candy developed health problems and made the decision to graduate in May 2018.  For those thinking it’s too late to go back to school or pursue your career goals, Candy is living proof that it is not.  She not only overcame, she excelled.  Lack of an education doesn’t have to have the last word.

Type 1 diabetes, which many call early onset diabetes, is a medical diagnosis that Candy carried as well.  Her illness presented in childhood as diabetic keto acidosis and she almost died at the time.  Candy grew up with a chronic illness effecting almost every area of her life.  As insulin dependent diabetics know, managing this condition is no small thing.  What you eat, when you eat it, and when you take your insulin is immensely important.  Exercise, stress and so much else enter into the insulin equation as well.

As she grew older, Candy developed some of the long term sequela of her poorly controlled disease – high blood pressure, glaucoma and peripheral neuropathy.  In addition to diabetes, she was plagued by recurrent kidney stones.  But as they say, you can’t keep a good woman down.  Candy has never let any medical issue keep her from fulfilling the goals she has set for herself. Chronic illness doesn’t have to have the last word.

Often when I spoke with my friend on the phone, her conversations included issues with her family and friends.  Her family life was chaotic and seeing them make so many of the poor choices she herself had made, broke her heart.  Several of her step-children became addicts.  They have been in and out of jail and involved with social services for various reasons.  Candy was always there, making visits to jails and speaking with probation officers.  She expected her kids to be accountable but never gave up on them.  And she never stopped loving them.  She visited family often and took care of grandkids when needed.  How she had time to do all this and still go to school and work, I’ll never know.

And added to this, she volunteered freely.  It was a joy for her to help at the Lafayette House where she could come along side women who were making their way free from the chains of addiction and abuse.  Not only that, but she went to the local jails as well.  Since she knew the jails and personnel well, she was able to have access to the women inmates and went almost once a week to teach a Bible study there.  As the women were released, she often continued to keep in touch to help if needed.

But the biggest blessing she has had over the last couple of years, was the addition of Tosia and Harmon to her family.  These two precious kids found themselves without a mother or father able to care for them and Candy took them into her home.  My friend readily went back to the days of school meetings, class parties, helping with homework, reading books, Walt Disney movies, and navigating both elementary and middle school.  She considered it a gift.  Busyness and chaos can try to wreck our lives, but we don’t have to let it.  Chaos doesn’t have to have the last word.

For this woman who had endured so much, what was her answer when I asked the hardest thing she had ever done?  Without hesitation, without a second thought, her answer was getting off parole.  She viewed that as her greatest achievement.  Why would someone who had endured jail time and even prison time feel that it was harder to make it through the parole phase?  Every time she was in reach of completing her parole, it seemed the state would find more service hours for her to do, or one more class she needed to take, or one more fine she needed to pay or, heaven forbid, threaten a new violation.  She often felt that she might never make it to the end, might never really achieve forgiveness from the state for what she had done.  Actually making it off parole is what she viewed as her greatest accomplishment.

Perhaps that is why she took such an active role in helping others coming out of jail.  We all should.  Because in a way, hasn’t everyone been locked in a place we couldn’t escape?  If we are willing, we will all admit that we have done some things to other people that put us in a place where we need to be forgiven.  Sometimes it may seem as though we work and work but can’t ever get off parole.  We’re always threatened with the possibility of one more violation or one more thing we need to do to make up for the past. Can we all think of one person we have on parole? Do it, then forgive them, because forgiving brings freedom. Prisons, even self made ones, don’t have to have the last word.

Candy also understood loss.  Over the course of her lifetime she suffered through the loss of numerous friends and family.  Her own father died when she was seven.  At the beginning of the story, I mentioned how I wished the timing of this story were different.  How true that is.  My precious friend, Candy, died unexpectedly January 25th of this year.  After developing another kidney stone, catching the flu, and fighting high blood sugars, she died in her sleep.  What was meant to be a graduation present will be a memorial story instead.  But Candy knew – death doesn’t have to have the last word.

No one can change the past, but we can rise above it.   What is it that you need to overcome?  Lack of schooling, dependency, alcoholism, abuse, severed relationships, shame, inadequacies, family chaos, health issues, imprisonment – whether it is your own self made prison or the state’s?  Candy would say, it’s possible to overcome them all.  Not only would her words say it was possible to overcome those things, but her actions show that you can.  Her life is living proof.

How did Candy rise above the devastating circumstances of her life?  The one-word answer is Jesus.  Jesus is the one who had the last word over how her story ended.  But perhaps I’ll let my friend tell you herself.  Below are two of the posts she made on her Facebook page about five months ago.  I am so very proud of the person she became and so thankful I was fortunate enough to be her friend.  She taught me things that I could never have learned otherwise and changed my life in so many beautiful ways. May each one of you, just like Candy, find the strength to rise above your circumstances. And may you find the place where peace, joy and healing are found.

Candyce Patterson  November 2, 2017   “I am thankful for the relationship I have with my mom today.  Anyone out there who thinks they have a relationship that cannot be repaired is wrong.  We are living proof.”

Candyce Patterson  November 6, 2017  “Thankful that God woke me up today and that he saved me from myself many years ago.  I am so thankful for the life he has given me today.  For many years I allowed alcoholism to consume me.  Sometimes when I look back it is hard to even fathom the train wreck I was.  The woman I was then versus the woman I am today are so completely opposite.  I used alcohol because I didn’t want to face my past.  I was running from something that wasn’t even my doing….torturing and punishing myself.  Thank you Jesus for never giving up on me and bringing God-fearing Christians into my life.  That was almost 11 years ago.  I have been given a life I never imagined possible.”

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But now that you’ve found you don’t have to listen to sin tell you what to do, and have discovered the delight of listening to God telling you, what a surprise!  A whole, healed put-together life right now, with more of life on the way!  Work hard for sin your whole life and your pension is death.  But God’s gift is real life, eternal life, delivered by Jesus, our Master.    Romans 6:22-23 Msg

All this energy issues from Christ: God raised him from death and set him on a throne in deep heaven, in charge of running the universe, everything from galaxies to governments, no name and no power exempt from his rule.  And not just for the time being, but forever.  He is in charge of it all, has the final word on everything.  Ephesians 1:21-22 Msg

So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ – eternal and glorious plans they are! – will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.  1 Peter 5: 9-11

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Pictures of my amazing friend are below. To see them better, just click on the picture.

For another story of overcoming your circumstances, read “The Girl Who Could.”

Below are a few of the Pinterest Pins for “The Hardest Thing.”

If you’d like to see all the Pinterest Pins for “The Hardest Thing,” Click here.

The songs below go with the story, and in fact, make it better.

 

 

Misty and her kids having a Better Tomorrow

A Better Tomorrow

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Some days are better than others.  This particular day was hectic and busy.  But as I passed by the school superintendent’s office, I couldn’t help but take a left and head in to say hi.  Misty, the superintendent’s secretary, was at her desk, which was covered with papers.  The phone was ringing, papers were flying, and she appeared to be hard at work.  Misty was one of my favorite people to visit.  It is unusual in this world to find someone who both takes the time and has the ability to make you feel welcome and wanted.  Misty is one of those people and I loved seeing her.  Almost every morning as people came in and out of the office, she typically had something encouraging to say with a smile on her face.  But on this specific morning, her usual smile wasn’t quite the same and she looked discouraged.  She appeared to be someone who needed not only a better tomorrow, but a better today.

Misty’s past several years had been exceedingly difficult.  She was a mom with two kids, in a marriage that was falling apart.  She was separated from her husband with no home and not much income.  As is so often true, the word complicated didn’t quite do the situation justice. Misty and her kids were staying temporarily at her friend, Janet’s house while looking for something permanent.  The problem was that she didn’t have her own home and didn’t see much hope of getting one anytime soon.  For some reason, on that particular day, the discouragement, disappointment, and darkness seemed to hang over her like a cloud.  As we all know so well, when we find ourselves in the middle of a difficult, lingering, ugly mess, all it takes is just one more thing to push us over the edge….some little thing at work that doesn’t go as planned, a phone call you didn’t want or expect, a hurtful word during a conversation, …. the list goes on.  Whatever had happened that day, my heart broke for my friend.

As Misty and I talked, I saw something out of the corner of my eye.  Behind and to the left of her desk was the door into the superintendent’s office, which was typically closed.  That morning, the door was ajar and I saw Dr. Rhea’s hand motioning for me to come into his office.  Dr. Rhea was the superintendent of the school as well as a wonderful friend.  He appeared tall and slender with glasses and whitish grey hair.  This was a man who beautifully managed the fine line of being in charge while still being warm and friendly.

When a break came in my conversation with Misty, I mentioned that I wanted to say hi to Dr. Rhea and moved toward his door.  As I walked into his office, I couldn’t help but notice the huge grin on his face.  In fact, even now it makes me laugh.  As my mom used to say, he looked like “the cat who ate the canary!”  Before I could say a word, he motioned for me to close the door and have a seat.  I didn’t think the grin could get much bigger, but it did, and his eyes twinkled, making him look a little like Santa.  Words started pouring out of his mouth with excitement as he described the “big surprise”.

Apparently, a couple who knew Misty’s situation, had just purchased a new house across the street from their old one.  Rather than move into their new home, they decided to give it to Misty rent free, unconditionally,  for as long as she needed it.  They gathered together a group of friends and remodeled it, preparing it just as if they were moving in themselves.  That group of friends had been spending long evenings working at the house getting the remodel complete.  They sacrificed time and money and did it all with unselfish love.  The plan and the work had been done in secret and Misty didn’t have a clue.  One of the members of the group had confided in Dr. Rhea about the secret and now the time was at hand to reveal the surprise.  The very next day, a meeting had been arranged between Misty and her friends at the remodeled house.   It was then and there that Misty would be given the good news that the house was her’s — rent-free to move into whenever she wanted.  That’s a pretty nice surprise and some pretty nice friends.  As Dr. Rhea finished telling me the details, the last thing he said was, “But don’t let Misty know, it’s a surprise.”

Walking back out of his office, I saw Misty still sitting there in her chair.  I knew how unhappy,  discouraged, and hopeless she was in her situation.  Misty had no idea that the house she so desperately needed today, truly would be her’s tomorrow.  I longed to tell her it was going to be ok, that she didn’t need to be sad, that tomorrow really would be better, and in fact, not just better, but extraordinary.  I wanted to say that she could trust me because I knew what the future held and that she just needed to hang on a little longer.  It was such an odd feeling – being part of her sadness and uncertainty in that moment, but also being aware of the joy and excitement that was soon to come.  It is a perspective we aren’t often able to have because we rarely know what tomorrow brings.  But there is One who knows quite well what that perspective is like.  He knows the end from the beginning.  He sees each one of our difficulties today and at the same time knows the resolutions in our tomorrows.   His heart is for each one of us to know the very things I wanted to tell Misty.  And to you, and each one of us, He says, do not lose heart, never give up.

When I get to the end of my life and look back, I’m sure there will be parts I will enjoy remembering so much more because I will know how it ends.  All the stress and anxiety will be gone and I will be able to see it with clarity knowing how all the pieces fit together. The difficult part of the here and now is trusting that there is a bigger picture that lends meaning and relevance to the trials we face.  And in the end, I trust the Master Planner.  It was Jesus himself who said, “In this world you will have trouble.”  But he also knows the ending of your story and adds, “but take heart, I have overcome the world.”  The following day was an overcoming day for Misty.  Her friends surprised her with a beautiful rent-free home and even today, she remembers that as one of the most unforgettable days of her life.  So for all of us in the midst of what seems like hopeless situations, just like Misty, your tomorrow may hold the answers to your problems today.  And Jesus promises to those who follow him, he is lovingly preparing a beautiful rent-free home for us as well.  So relax, because the best is yet to come.

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“So we’re not giving up.  How could we!  Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace.”  2 Cor 4:16  MSG

“There are many rooms in my Father’s house.  I wouldn’t tell you this, unless it was true.  I am going there to prepare a place for each of you.  After I have done this, I will come back and take you with me.  Then we will be together.”  John 14:2-4  CEV

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11  NIV

“Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.”  Psalms 30:5

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A few Pinterest pins for “A Better Tomorrow.”

For more “A Better Tomorrow” Pinterest Pins, click on this link.

Don’t forget to watch the videos!

 

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© Martha Brehm 2017
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